June 10 2017
In past few years, the dynamics of the families have changed due to increasing divorce rate around the world. Initially, the idea of stepmom or stepdad was not acceptable for children, however, it is now changing due to the techniques of establishing good terms with the kids and making them part of the transition process. For instance, taking the children to ride on the cars can give you the opportunity to bring up the topic of a new family with children. According to the PEW research, many families are now settling their divorce in the better way and are happy with it. According to the physiologists of Harvard medical school, it is important that your co-partner understand that the children cannot become part of the conflict between adults.
Even though divorce was considered as a taboo in the past, however, families are adopting healthy ways to protect kids from conflict by giving them constructive environment. The stepfamilies are learning to develop to healthy relationships with the kids. According to one research study, most than 60 % of the families are living happy and content life after the divorce and their children are close to them. Most importantly, the changes in the mindset of parents can play a major role in making divorce settlement less chaotic for kids.
Before introducing your partner to your kids, do some work on ensuring that the person is worthy of their attention or not. While the social media has increased the trend of online dating, one cannot expect it to go great on the basis of the fact that it worked out well for you. Therefore, it is important to consider the factor of disturbing the life of kids if proper care is not taken. Before introducing anybody to kids’, parents can make sure that they are committed because kids need security and stability. Also, it is important that as a parent, you give consideration of your relationships and its impact on the mind of the kids.
Instead of mixing with the children in form of group outings, begin to know each other so that children will be on their best behavior. If you want to involve your kids in collective activities, it can induce competition in the kids as they try to get the attention of parents. Therefore, it may divert your attention from the new spouse or guests. Hence, the focus should be on taking small steps in order to know each other instead of trying to mix your kids with the new spouse.
Moreover, if you are stuck in a situation where you have to deal with unacceptable behavior, the parents may be expected to be strict in terms of enforcing the rules and being kind to the kids. In addition, children who are in the adjustment phase may take time to warm up, so the best strategy is to be polite with them. The step parent can take action by relying on the information provided by the parent rather than taking action on their own. Likewise, the role of patience is very effective in dealing with kids who are reluctant to the new environment.
A strong bond among the family members can help kids in welcoming the newcomers in a variety of ways. Some of the toddlers can cling to the mom and refuse to spend the appointed drop-off time, but you need to stay calm. Likewise, the older kids can be both physically and emotionally tough and often feel guilty about loving a stepparent. Patience is vital because kids of all ages need time to adjust to their new family dynamic. During this adjustment period, the effort made by the adults to show an interest in their new stepchildren is necessary. The best approach is to sit down and build blocks with little ones. The older kid may want to interact with you if you show kindness. For example, you can teach them to make food to encourage bonding. The step parent can also be supportive in form of showing an interest in their activities and friends.
The stepfamilies are not like first-time families. The new culture has to be built by keeping the old values intact and incorporating new values. For example, if a child is angry in the beginning with his/her step dad, the distance can be bridged to improve understanding. In other words, it is the amount of commitment shown by the step parents that can change the perception of children about the step parents. Furthermore, it is healthy to bond with kids gradually, so not rushing is the best way to develop a strong bond between kids and step parents.
Before introducing step parent to kids, it is essential to talk to them and get their approval. It can save children from the shock and sudden change in their life. Moreover, kids are sensitive to big changes, especially when it comes to loved ones. So, when you introduce your kids or your spouse, talk about them with the complete family so that it becomes an ice breaker between children and step parent. In simple words, the kids want to be part of a major decision of your life. Therefore, when you consult them, they feel that they are part of it. Hence, it is important to talk to your kids and get their reactions before introducing the step parent directly to them.
If the new spouse has kids, you can hold the collective meeting of both parents along with their kids. The children of both parents can interact with each other to get to know each other under a supervision of parents. The children can also be acquainted with the idea of living with other kids who are like them. Similarly, the interaction of children with new kids is essential for building their relationship with the step parent. In this way, kids develop the understanding in accordance with the changing nature of the family. If you don’t introduce the kids of step parent to children, it can create problems for you by increasing the communication gap between you and your kids.
To conclude, it is important to include your children in the process of making the decision and involving stepparents in their life is important. Kids, generally, react to big changes in the life and they need support and help of the parents. More so, the bonding can be facilitated by introducing the step parents in a gradual process to children. Even though the young children react differently, you can build their confidence by discussing with them their concerns and sentiments about a role of a stepmom or dad in their lives. Furthermore, it is essential for the parent to convince children to behave with step parent without using the forcing or pressure tactics. In short, the acceptance of step parents has now become normal for many families, especially in the US, according to recent research conducted by PEW.